In Need of a Renaissance.

The lads and I thought we might sail up the Scioto 

and crash the social event of the season! 

Seems the Lady of Willow Manor is giving a Ball!

  What ho! A Ball, you say?

 Yo ho! There be pirates there!
And lasses with flowers in their hair!

I sought to woo this buxom pirate lass

 Alack, distracted by her ample...
knowledge of swordplay,

I ran aground somewhere near Caesar's Creek.

 Where we were set upon by knights!

 Happily this one was armed only with a red rose...

 After a bit of jousting

 Officiated by a viking man from Canada

 And featuring a manly clash of, er, long pointy things

We were triumphant!

 In a manner of speaking...while they fought among themselves 

over who would get to skewer us...

We ran away (under the cover of bagpipes, of course)!

I made some effort to persuade yon fetching brunette
to accompany me to the festivities...

She was unpersuaded

Though I managed to coax her out of her armour!

 So I left me merry men to fend for themselves

And, leaving behind my flamboyant French threads,
I donned the garb of a common rogue
and set off on foot...

After a bit of mead for reinforcement

 

I reckon I shall be going stag to the Willow Manor Ball ;-)

Happily, the Moon is lighting my path

Mayhap I shall find a small boat

And make haste forthwith to yon festivities!