I Drown
by Lemuel Crouse
I drown in your absence,
Gasping, flailing, sputtering
Like a boat motor guttering
Out on the last bit of gasoline.
I cling, fling, grasp for oars,
Bringing all down with me,
Like a man overboard
Not wanting to die alone.
Gone is reason, sense,
Any essence of my pride,
Like a tribe of sand crabs
Scattering before the gulls.
As I founder, ever deeper,
That old reaper closes in
Like the tide, sweeping
Ever higher up the beach.
A grand peach of a pit,
Stranded thus in this bind,
Like finally learning one is
Stale, fit only to be cast out.
I am but a bitter-sweet tale
Of woes compounded,
Like Crane's Open Boat, if it
Ran aground on quicksand.
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16 comments:
I am a bitter-sweet tale
Of woes compounded
Liked that a lot. I hope his love returns quickly!
Oh the longing ...
What a poignant poem, beautifully describing the loss (temporarily or permanently) of love. Such a stong message that rings so true. Need I say how much I loved it?
without our loves we are overboard- lovely poem.
Oh, really well done. I like the drowning and beach images. The internal rhyme of 'deeper' and 'reaper' in S4 is great. Your opening line just pulls the reader in...so to speak.
A very strong picture of desperation we all suffer if we let ourselves stay there too long, but the title; 'A funny thing happened on the way to a magpie' is blatant misrepresentation! :-)
this piece resonated familiarity...
Beautiful write, my friend. I especially like "grand peach of a pit"...I like the Sondheim reference...
Oops...signed in as my old "Willow" avatar...but you know who I am...
I do, indeed, know who you are, my friend...thank you for your kind words...I'm glad you like the peach of a pit line, which was added later in the day :-)
Very fine poem.
Bittersweet, poignant, and focused,
this piece sings a ballad of loss.
In S4, are you "foundering" or
"floundering"? Kind of lost me
there. Somehow by the close of
this, you string several notes of
hope, of accommodation; really
like it.
ah doc you seem to have left us all in the bitter sweet tonight...i hope his love is not far gone...
A fine poem indeed.
Anna :o]
Quite simply, brilliant.
your poem is evocative
and reflects the image
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