Saturday, August 14, 2010

Riding the Bus

This week's poetry bus is driven by Chris at Enchanted Oak. She has given us two photographs from which to choose as inspiration for our bus pass.  We chose this one:


Le Petit Bateau

By Lemuel Crouse

A

pond

lies frozen

in my memory:

perfect stillness, glass

surface smooth, reflecting

with the passive love of one

who sees all...yet feels nothing.

An illusion of calm...a lovely pond,

perfectly hiding the tangled wreckage

resting just beneath the liquid mirror.

A little boat once floated right there,

no oarlocks marred its gunwales.

From shaded,  grassy shoreline

it nevermore will be cast off,

for now the boat is gone,

carrying with it one

who loved it

but not

me

!

20 comments:

Sam Liu said...

Wonderful poem, your words transported me to that boat and that cool river. The structure and the meter of the piece are brilliant :)

The Bug said...

Ooh - you've been a naughty boy! I love it!

willow said...

Lovely. I especially like feel of "oarlocks marred its gunwales" on my tongue. And you are so clever with the type in the shape of a boat!

Thanks for your kind and generous comment on my piece today. It is much appreciated. xx

altar ego said...

Very nice. And very nice. My grandfather would like you.

Jayne said...

Love that, and the boat shape of your poem!

jinksy said...

An almost, not-quite-double etheree fits the bill, never mind the boat! :)

Carolina Linthead said...

Thanks, y'all! Jinksy, I had forgotten about the double-etheree form! I was just going for the boat shape. I will keep that in mind for the future, as I love the challenge of making each syllable count.

Emerging Writer said...

I admire the layering here. A perfect pon, the tangled weeds beneath

Titus said...

So many levels here to enjoy! Amazed you've managed to post a conrete poem (how?) and the four longer lines,
"perfectly hiding the tangled wreckage
resting just beneath the liquid mirror.
A little boat once floated right there,
no oarlocks marred its gunwales."
are perfectly framed. Loved the air of ambiguity that flows through it too; illusion with mirror.

Titus said...

Or even concrete.

Carolina Linthead said...

Thanks, Titus! I am rather fond of those lines. As for the concrete aspect, I started writing this as a Word document (sadly, I've all but given up pen and paper), then pasted it into the Blogger: New Post: Compose window. There I used the "Alignment" feature to center align the text, and tweaked it to get the look I wanted, mostly by trial and error, substituting or rearranging words, adding an extra space on occasion, etc. There are some significant limitations to Blogger, no doubt, so I was glad to get the look I did, and very glad I wasn't trying to do this on a typewriter!

Gwei Mui said...

Very deceptive a bit like water with hidden depths.

Niamh B said...

great poem. Love the shape of it!

Jessica Maybury said...

wowww this is really cool! How did you make it look like a boat?? genius!

NanU said...

Bravo!

Helen said...

Perhaps we should have boarded a boat today? Yours looks inviting. 'Illusion of calm' ... my favorite words.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Great poem, loved the shape, forget the boat, stay on the bus!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Love that header painting too.

Carolina Linthead said...

Thank you, each and every one! I must say that it is a great honor to have my work followed by the legendary Totalfeckineejit, who got this bus rolling in the first place!

Karen said...

Hooray! The Bug has a poet-husband! (and a Southerner to boot!) What could be better? Welcome to the bus.

I really like the poem - form and content.